April 13, 2018

The Story of Us, Part 3: The Shift

welcome to the story of us

a little friday fun

“Are you guys dating?” “Are you and Jake together?” “Are you dating Jake yet?” “Why are you not with Jake already?” “Come on, you know that Jake and you are gonna end up together. What are you waiting for?” Definitely the most romantic way to start the story of us. 

Wowza. The questions starting coming in. Mostly from peers. Dormmates. A few friends. People who didn’t understand that we were just friends. People who thought they knew what was best for me. But, if there’s one thing that this stubborn-hearted girl doesn’t like, it’s people telling me what I should do when they have no actual insight into the situation. Like hello? Why are you pushing this?

Please stop. K thanks.

And so I resisted. Hard. At first I laughed it off. A little defensive banter. And the classic “we’re just friends” line. Little did I know, I was mostly fooling myself. But I wrote it off as people who hardly knew us. Those who only saw glimpses into our friendship. People who never actually took the time to get to know me or spent any moments with the two of us.

But then, one night on a spontaneous hike up to the Cal Poly P, the question came from a good friend. Someone who knew me before Jake, and after. Someone who watched me process the breakup, lean on Jake, and find a new peace. And boy was I mad.

I took it the wrong way. Sorry Steph, I was pretty frustrated. But don’t worry, I still love you! (She was a bridesmaid in our wedding –  ha) I thought it was another person telling me how I should feel and what I should do. My stubbornness kicked in. I was frustrated that a good friend was asking me the question that I spent my days annoyed by. But what I should’ve noticed was that a good friend was asking me an honest question. Trying to peek into my heart. Trying to understand if I was actually on the same page or pushing back feelings out of stubbornness.

A lot of stubbornness.

It wasn’t until a long time after that, looking back, did I realize I should’ve given her the time of day when she asked me that question. I should’ve taken the time to think it over. To evaluate where I was at. Instead of put blinders on and continue on the path I was on.

A little while longer, and freshman year came to a close. We all said our summer goodbyes. Again, the girl who does NOT like change did NOT handle this well. There were tears. A lot of tears. And while there were a lot of aspects of freshman year, dorm living, and everything that conspired that were not my favorite, I would miss it. I would reminisce. And I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to walk down the hall and see my two best friends whenever I wanted.

As packing began and finals started, Jake had put aside his feelings. He had shouldered the burden of me not reciprocating for far too long. He tried to move on (mostly cause I begged him to). So, he had coffee with a girl. Chatted with another. And I was only a little confused. Happy that I didn’t have to feel guilty anymore for not reciprocating. Weird because I was watching his emotions change right in front of my eyes. It was definitely an uneasy time.

And then, it was summer.

100 miles stood between us.

A lot of text messages.

Balancing friendly and ‘we’re just friends’.

And then one day, a text message made my insides do a flip.

In the middle of summer, back in his hometown, he was going on a date. Not a big deal, right? I didn’t want to date him (sorry hun, this isn’t news though…) so why did I feel so weird? Why did I feel uncomfortable? Why did I feel… dare I say… jealous?

I literally laid down on my bedroom floor. He hadn’t responded. An hour… Two… Three…. I think we came up to five or six hours. They had spent the day together talking, enjoying each other’s company over coffee. And in the midst of all that, I was hit with a ton of bricks.

oh. my. word.

It can’t be true. I can’t feel this way. Do I feel this way? What is happening to me? What are you even thinking?

And that, my friends, was the shift.

A few other pics from the end of freshmen year. 

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Friday Fun: The Story of Us

Every Friday for the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a little of “The Story of Us” on this blog. Stay tuned for the next installment, next Friday! Hope you don’t mind hearing a little about our love story. You can view Part 1 here and Part 2 here

Your Love Story

We also want to hear your love story! Shoot me a message on Instagram or inquire for your wedding here. I’d love to hear your story! I will love it just as much as the story of us. 

About Ashley

Ashley Baumgartner is a Sacramento Wedding Photographer serving wedding clients in the Sacramento region, Placer and Tahoe regions, Napa region, Bay Area, and Central Coast. Please inquire today to check availability for your sacramento wedding, placer county wedding, tahoe wedding, napa wedding, bay area wedding, or san luis obispo wedding. We would love to head back to SLO for a few weddings a year!